The Bump Is Still On The Road

I’m so sick of hustle culture; of the glorification of the grind; of the relentless focus on optimization; of the endless march towards self-improvement that implies that there is an end version of perfection at the end.

There’s such a strong narrative right now focused on telling us that there is one road to take, the right road, and it is the road of knowing exactly what you want, and going out and getting it, and not letting anything or anyone get in your way.

Spoiler alert: stuff is always going to get in the way. That’s called living a human life!

Part of being human - and of trying to live engaging, fulfilling, impactful lives - is the mess and the struggle and the vulnerability of it all. We are forgetting, in this narrative, what makes us human: the reality that life’s road is not straight and sure, but a riotous bumpy ride (with lots of one way streets, potholes, and roundabouts with other really intense drivers zooming around) of emotion, loss, fear, courage, joy, grief and love.

And of course, the way we display our lives online - posting our perfect snapshots, celebrating our milestones, and glorifying achievements - tells only the story of the straight and sure road. In turn, our deep-seated need to fit in only makes us want to tout the story of our own determined road.

Getting stuck, being frozen, feeling lost, being afraid, not knowing how to move forward are all an inescapable part of the meaningful and courageous life. Ironically, it is often these very bumps and ditches that actually help us figure out where the hell the road is going and how we are going to keep walking down it.

You don’t need to know exactly where you’re going. You don’t need to know what you want. You don’t even need to be moving. You just need to know that wherever you are, you’re still on the road, and that is all that matters.

Going over a bump or getting stuck in the ditch is as much of a part of a good life as the part where you are confidently charging ahead in the direction of what you want and feeling absolutely amazing while doing it.

When I’m in a ditch, sometimes the only thing that helps me is to remember that it is still on the road, and if I can zoom out to see it as an inevitable part of my journey, reminding me that there’s nothing for me to do but accept it, and when I’m ready to move again, to get up and keep on walking.

Everything is the road. Even the challenges. Even the worst, shittiest parts of life; the parts we hate, those we want to forget, those we want to zoom through, those we’d never wish on anyone. Every part of the road is something that we can use to grow, to learn from, and to help us be better at helping others.