Where do we go from here?

I’m writing this on Friday, unsure of whether by the time you read this we’ll have a conclusion to this incredible roller-coaster of a week. If you’re like me, you have probably run through the gamut of emotions over the last few days: from fear to confusion to despair to hope to impatience to more impatience.  

And now, even though we don’t have answers yet, I’m thinking about what we do and how we move forward from this moment (and these last four years, and the hundreds of years before that that led to them.) How do we use this moment to pursue our New Happy mission – to create happiness for all beings everywhere? The roadmap for the next few weeks feels clear to me: we need to take the time we need to process this experience, but then, we need to get to work.

It’s never been so clear to me that, in order to move forward as a country (but more broadly, as Western culture), we need to move past our approach of extreme individuality.

It is not working for us (as we can see!) We need to move our focus towards the collective, and the reason that I started the New Happy is because there is a way to do where everyone wins. There is a way to serve yourself and serve other people at the same time: by living a New Happy life where you find your gifts and share them with the world to make the world a bit better. When you do that, not only do you win, but your community, country, and society win, too.  

When I was attempting to zone out this week, I turned on some old TV shows that soothe me. I happened to watch the Friends episode where Phoebe and Joey are fighting about whether it’s possible to ever do a selfless good deed, the premise being that anytime you do a good deed, you end up feeling good. Philosophers have been debating this question for years, too.

Every good deed you do for someone comes back to you, not only in feeling good in the moment, but also in making you more compassionate (which leads to happiness), in strengthening your bonds (which leads to happiness), in increasing your wisdom (which leads to happiness), and in making a difference in the world and feeling a sense of meaning, purpose and belonging (which, once again, leads to happiness!)

And if you take the New Happy approach and figure out what your gifts are and use them to do said good deeds, you reap even more benefits: you grow as a person and professional, you develop mastery, you live your fullest potential, and you self-actualize and self-transcend at the same time.

These are all of the things that people want! Our answer to better living is so, so simple; we just need to help people to learn this truth and then to follow their own path.

One way to start on your own path is to consider your implicit questions, the subconscious questions that you are asking yourself that guide so much of your behavior. When you change your implicit question, you can effortlessly change your life. Many of us are living lives that are out of alignment with our goals because we are still holding onto questions that no longer serve us, which include ones like, “How can I prove myself to my family?” or “What do I need to get done today?” or “How will I gain power today?” These questions develop due to our life history, our personalities, our culture, and our goals.

To start on your New Happy path, consider asking yourself: what question am I living by right now? And what question would I like to answer, instead? Finally, and most importantly, is my question contributing to the greater well-being of my community, rather than just myself?

Here are a few ideas for questions to get you started:

·       What can I do to heal my community?

·       How can I empower other people using my skills?

·       What can I do to help where it is most needed?

·       Who needs me and my gifts right now?

·       What qualities can I embody that lead me to help others?

Just a small shift in your questions can help you to shift from an Old Happy life to a New Happy one. Because, remember, when you heal others, what you are really doing is healing yourself.

We will never find happiness in focusing on doing things for ourselves and our needs. The path to our happiness and to changing the world lies in finding ways to use our gifts and share them with the world. 

The world needs you. Will you be there for it?