What I’ve Learned So Far
Hello everyone!
In the last four days, my boyfriend’s mum has arrived from Australia, we’ve moved from our apartment in the city to a house an hour away, and I’ve attended one of my best friend’s weddings. It’s been an exciting, emotional, and stressful few days. In an act of compassion to myself (and maybe to you too, if you aren’t feeling up for a long philosophical musing on this lovely summer day?), I’m going to keep it short & sweet.
Today, I want to share something from my diary: a list of the things I’ve learned in my life thus far, that I reread whenever I’m going through a hard moment, or just need to be re-centered.
Many of the items on this list come directly from one of you in this community, who have taught me something incredibly important - I hope you know how much that means to me, and my gratitude for you and your wisdom.
What have you learned so far?
I’d love to invite you to make your own list of what you’ve learned in life so far. Writing it down has a powerful way of crystallizing your inner wisdom and making it even easier to live by. I’d be honored if you’d share it with me, and I can share in next week’s newsletter, building a collective wisdom for all of us.
What I’ve Learned So Far
You always have the power to choose your state of being. Never deny that truth. It is always a choice.
Expending energy is what leads to more energy.
Never close your heart, whatever happens. Always make the choice to re-open. It is always possible. Make nothing so powerful that you’re willing to close your heart over it.
Choose to practice deep listening and loving speech at all times.
Perfectionism = shame and fear, wrapped in a cloak of productivity and personal growth. The only thing perfectionism does is stop you from having an interesting, compelling, meaningful, authentic and loving life.
No one can make you happy except for yourself. Your happiness is your responsibility.
If you ever have the choice between being right and being kind, you should always choose being kind.
Expectations about how people are supposed to show up lead to your unhappiness. Be open to and accepting of the ways in which other people move in the world.
It is the small, tiny steps that lead to the wonderful big things. Always take the smallest possible first step to put yourself on the journey.
I am responsible for my actions and emotions; I am not responsible for the actions and emotions of other people.
Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
You are entitled to your actions; not the results of your actions. Taking action is the only result that matters.
Pain comes from wishing the world was different than it is.
The correlation between great days & exercise is a nearly perfect 1.
Learning to love, understand, and nourish yourself is your most important job.
Cultivate 'side gigs' that bring out the parts of yourself that you don’t get to embody in your daily life or your work.
Always strive to be more generous towards people than they are to you.
All feelings and wishes are acceptable, but not all behavior is acceptable.
Build your life around your idiosyncrasies.
Be your partner’s steward and champion of their growth and development, even when it seems threatening to you or to the relationship.
The surest way to thrive is to find ways to help others to thrive.
It is the small moments, accumulated over time, that become positive relationships, accomplishments, and ultimately - life itself. Don’t breeze over them, or take them lightly. Savor them!
Almost everything great comes from taking a risk.
Words of understanding should always precede words of advice.
There are four silver bullets for transforming your state of being: exercise, meditation, gratitude, and being silly.
Tradeoffs are real. Making intelligent trade-offs comes down to knowing thyself.
You have no right to complain about not getting what you never asked for.
Never take criticism from someone you would never go to for advice.
Being vulnerable is the key to true love and connection.
There is nothing more gentle than true strength. And nothing more strong than true gentleness.
Embody “full respect living". Your interactions with people you cherish should never drop below the level of simple respect.
The most fundamental question a human being can answer is, “Is the universe a friendly place?” Always say yes.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
You truly never know what another person is going through. Always be kind.
You are not the voice you hear in your head - you are the one listening to the voice.
Always know that you are worthy, just as you are, right now.
Gratitude is the secret to a happy life.
I am the keeper of my freedom, and nothing and no one can take it away from me.
Love always.
What does your list say?
“Opening myself to my own love and to life’s tough loveliness not only was the most delicious, amazing thing on earth but also was quantum. It would radiate out to a cold, hungry world. Beautiful moments heal, as do real cocoa, Pete Seeger, a walk on old fire roads.
All I ever wanted since I arrived here on earth were the same things I needed as a baby, to go from cold to warm, lonely to held, the vessel to the giver, empty to full. You can change the world with a hot bath, if you sink into it from a place of knowing you are worth profound care, even when you’re dirty and rattled. Who knew?”