KELSEY MARTIN
Kelsey and I connected on Instagram a few months ago. I was immediately blown away by her: not just her incredible work as an educator and non-profit leader, but by who she is as a person, too. Kelsey is the founder of RISE like a Girl, a nonprofit organization that helps girls and young women to find their authentic selves — and create safe spaces to be those authentic selves, too. I’m really inspired by her, and think you will be too. Keep reading to learn more about Kelsey’s New Happy!
What is your New Happy?
My New Happy is creating safe spaces for women and girls to become the most authentic version of themselves and gain the tools needed to become change agents in their community. I lead workshops for girls ages 8-14 on topics such as friendship, racial and gender identity, and leadership. I also lead events as part of a series entitled "Let's Talk", which is a space for educators to openly grapple with topics surrounding racial consciousness in our education system. I feel most alive when I'm sharing my story with others and helping them navigate their own journey as well.
How did you discover your New Happy?
I spent a lot of years not knowing who I was. Because I'm biracial, I struggled a lot with my identity as a teenager. I always felt like I didn't fit into any particular group but there was immense pressure (self-induced) to fit in everywhere. Consequently, I sacrificed myself in the process of trying to be what others wanted or expected me to be. I discovered feminism in college and it resonated with me right away. It validated a lot of the feelings I had regarding my identity, my voice, and my power. My college courses and the experiences I gained because of those classes, affirmed for me that I'm not crazy but rather the system was built this way - a system to suppress the most marginalized among us. RISE like a girl was born out of the passion that this enlightening inspired in me. I want all girls (all people, really) to know that they belong exactly how they are right now.
What's the best advice or wisdom you have ever received?
Something I've been telling myself a lot lately is "Do it scared". I have to remind myself of this often because I've learned from experience that the greatest rewards come from struggle. Sometimes, the most beautiful things come out of uncertainty. I can easily spend a lot of time analyzing scenarios over and over again in my head to the point where I end up talking myself out of the thing I wanted to do because I'm so worried about the outcome. I'm forcing myself to be okay with the messy, the mistakes, and the uncertainty because it always proves to be worth it. I've never regretted any scary choice I've made because it always brings me closer to finding my authentic self.
Who or what has most influenced you?
I'm a HUGE Brene Brown fan. She is my queen! Her books, podcasts, and speeches have deeply influenced the work I do both professionally and personally. Her work has been transformational in my process to finding my New Happy. I try my best every day to approach my life, my work, and my relationships wholeheartedly - aligning to my values and leading with vulnerability.
How do you love yourself?
In all transparency, I'm still working on this! I go through ups and downs with my self-love journey and I'm still learning how to practice being kind to myself daily. For many women, myself included, we tend to feel guilty for putting ourselves first. I really love Audre Lorde's take on radical self-love: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and it is a form of political warfare." I try to remind myself of this when I'm struggling to love myself and prioritize my needs above others.
How do you love others?
Words of affirmation is my love language so I LOVE telling others how much I love them via cards, texts, or simply in-person. It's really important to me that everyone in my circle knows how much I love and appreciate them.
What’s your mantra?
I am worthy of love and belonging.
How do you get through a bad day?
I'm very emotional and very in touch with my feelings, so I can easily make a bad day way worse than it needs to be! I try to get through it by amplifying the voice of my more logical brain: "I'm not feeling great right now but these feelings will pass and I'll be back to myself again soon." This allows me to give myself a little grace when I'm having a moment and acknowledge that what I'm feeling is totally okay.
What brings you joy?
I love seeing others embracing their authenticity. I'm so impressed with people that choose to be unapologetically themselves in a world that tends to be very judgemental. It's so brave! Seeing others be brave inspires me to do the same!
What advice would you give someone looking for their own New Happy?
Listen for that quiet nudge that lives within you. We all have a purpose in this world but if we're not attuned to hearing it, we'll never know to embrace it. Follow your heart and go after the things that scare you. When you finally hear that inner voice, go after it and do whatever it takes to maintain it. Your soul will thank you for it!
What’s one thing you’d like to ask the people of the world to do?
I know this sounds corny, but we need more LOVE! We are all wired to desire love and belonging. Many of the problems of our society today are because people are acting out of their deficit of love and belonging. I understand that it can be hard to love someone that isn't kind to you, but it's important to assume the best of one another and remember that we all deserve to be loved.