TIM SALAU
Here are the top three things I learned from Tim:
Bring a ‘testing’ mentality when you’re living your purpose: try a pathway, see how it feels, improve upon it, and then throw it out if it doesn’t work.
Don’t be afraid to take time out for yourself and use that to figure out your purpose, values, and how you want to bring them to life. (In fact, doing so might be essential.)
How to say NO to work and activities that don’t align to your purpose
Tim Salau is one of the most alive people I’ve ever met. It might sound like a silly description, but he really embodies what it means to be truly vital and flourishing. You feel it instantly! His passion, determination, and presence are all so strong that you just know that he’s going to do big, cool, and important things in the world.
Tim is a New Happy exemplar because he is always focused on doing things for others. His philosophy is that to give to others is to be happy yourself - same as ours!
Tim is a first generation college student - his family is from Nigeria and immigrated over here when he was in grade school. After college, he pursued a Masters in Information Studies at UT Austin, interned at Facebook and Pacific Northwest National Laboratory, and now works at Microsoft on their AI products. In the meantime, he started the largest online mentoring group on Facebook, Mentors and Mentees, where he helps students to connect with established professionals to further their careers; he is a career coach specializing in helping students to find their first job; and acts as ambassadors for other companies, speaks on panels, and builds communities constantly.
This guy is busy.
But he’s not busy for the sake of busyness. He’s busy because he is extraordinarily purpose-driven and intentional about pursuing his true north: which is strengthening the bonds people share through empathic and compassionate action.
Hi Tim! What does happiness mean to you?
To me, happiness is waking up every day and feeling that there's clarity in my purpose. That means that when I wake up, I know what to do with the gifts and the drive that I have, that they are directed somewhere, and that I see meaning in the things that I'm working on.
I have an instant source of happiness in my community work. While I’m still very early on in my career, my community building work has helped me to live my purpose. I’ve seen the power of creating a group addressing the simple purpose of career mentorship. I’ve seen how that's allowed students and professionals to think about where they want to go in their careers, what they need to work on, and what mentors they need to be seeking their life.
Because there's a clarity of purpose, I’m happy every day.
Purpose is so central to your definition of happiness. So tell us a bit about how you found that purpose and what it is? I often think that the process of purpose-ing is mysterious, which makes it seem intimidating. Enlighten us!
My purpose is to strengthen the bonds people share through compassionate and empathic action.
When I graduated with my undergrad psychology degree, I realized that I wanted to get another degree. I didn’t feel that I had the skills that I needed to start my career, and I wasn’t sure where I should even start to look for a job. I didn't have those tangible skills where I could advocate for myself and say, hey world, this is what I'm good at, this is why I’m a great fit for your company, and so on.
As I was graduating, I noticed that I was passionate about two things: technology and creating experiences for people. So I decided to go back to school at the University of Texas at Austin and pursue a degree in information studies so I could focus more on user experience, product design, product management and how to build things for people.
As I was moving to Austin, I realized that I had been given an opportunity to do a lot of soul searching. I was going back to school, in a brand new city where I didn’t know many people. Going to Austin really allowed me to center and recalibrate on what I want in my life and who I am. That space and isolation really allowed me to define a clear purpose, understand what it is that makes me special, think about all of my interests and passions, and how I can start to unlock my purpose each day.
That made me realize that I’m a community builder: I just love getting people in a room and finding ways to help them connect and see their commonalities and explore their shared interests.
How did it feel when you landed on that purpose?
Pure bliss! Pure bliss because it was something I could align with, something I can use to organize my life.
A true purpose is outward facing, something that doesn’t ultimately have to do with me. It shouldn’t be self-centric, and yet purpose activates clarity within you about what you need to do, what you need to learn, what you need to bring out from within you. Ever since I figured it out, I’ve been on a high in my life, and great things have happened to me because of it.
Tell our readers about how you took something you learned in school - design thinking - and how you used it to implement your purpose.
Let’s say you define your purpose - and as an example, imagine your purpose is to strengthen the bonds people share through amazing marketing.
When you’re thinking about bringing your purpose to life, it can be intimidating. The secret is to try stuff and test it out. You could start by choosing one pathway - like learning everything possible about Facebook and Instagram ads and how to build beautiful websites. And as you try it, maybe you’ll find out that this pathway isn’t for you; that gives you new information to approach your purpose in a different way.
That’s totally fine! Move on and try something else, like hosting events where you find amazing speakers to talk about marketing and building their brands. There are so many ways to live a purpose.
This is what I call the testing your purpose approach - it’s an iterative way to try things, learn from them quickly, and then pivot if you need to. I think it takes a lot of the pressure off of you and helps you to find the quickest line back to your purpose.
How did you design your life around your purpose?
I think people are always surprised when they define their purpose and see how simple it is, summed up. Something so huge that drives you every day can be expressed in just a few words. The thing about that simplicity is that it allows you to create clarity in all of your decision making. It gives you a lens to look at you, your life, the people you surround yourself with, and the decisions related to them.
For example, my purpose helped me realize I could create something. I had been posting a lot on LinkedIn and had just finished my internship at Google, and so many people were reaching out to me on LinkedIn to get advice about their careers. These people were usually not in my field or discipline, so I didn’t always know how to help them. But I realized that we share similar experiences, because at some point, we’re all looking for a new job or a transition. And because I had clarified my purpose of strengthening bonds, I suddenly was able to see an opportunity to create a group where people could come together to get and give career advice. That became Mentors & Mentees.
As soon as I defined my purpose, I've been able to see all these new opportunities where I can contribute my energy. It also influenced where I work - Microsoft - because they’re really invested in communities, so it all aligns back for me in every part of my life.
How do you make decisions to help you live your purpose?
In 2019, I'm going to literally wake up every day knowing that life is short. Not in an ‘agonizing over that’ way; but instead, if this was going to be my last year on earth, what are all the things that I want to do? That is going to be my mindset, which will inform the opportunities that I choose to engage with.
Clarity of purpose makes it easy to say no. I don’t have time to not allow the good I want to create in this world to take shape. I’m operating in this mindset that time is not infinite. I know I have to be patient sometimes, but I also have to move every single day, to live my purpose every day.
Teach me how to say no more effectively!
Here’s my tip for saying no: be transparent about why you can’t and what you’re currently focused on. I’ll tell the person requesting something that currently my focus is the Mentors & Mentees group and therefore, I can’t join them on their project.
The other thing I try to do is to refer people who might be a good fit. It pays it forward. If I know someone who would be a great collaborator, I’ll introduce them!
What would be one piece of advice you would give to someone who is looking to cultivate New Happy in their life?
Don’t be afraid of being on your own! As much as community and helping other people is my passion, sometimes happiness and clarity of purpose comes from some time alone or after tough times, because those can promote reflection if you use them. New life events - like for me, when I went to grad school - can be vessels for that discovery.
If you could ask the people of the world to do one thing, what would it be?
Live your life through community!
Find a community that's yours where you feel like you belong. I really, really, believe this because people spend the entire lifetime thinking that they have to go it alone. That’s not true.
Find a community that welcomes you and wants you to thrive. The power of it will change your life.